Revisiting the 'Four Pillars of Simplicity'

​In Kim John Payne's book 'Simplicity Parenting' he touches on  four guidelines that may initiate ease in your creative discipline journey with your children.

• Balance and simplifying the amount of stuff your child has

When you have fewer things what you do have becomes precious. And if you are playing with others you learn to share what little you do have. Sharing and creative imaginative play help fire up the limbic system and the frontal lobe of the brain. This stimulates collaboration and cooperation, encouraging these qualities to develop. The limbic system is connected to the development of emotional health, social cooperation and empathy.

I left a handout at school which mentions effective methods in clearing out the clutter from your children's lives, starting with the toys. You can also use these techniques with their clothing. Please let me know if you need more information on this topic.

• Rhythm and predictability

Payne writes about mixing the "big" and "small" picture realities when working with your families rhythm and keeping calm in your daily routine. The "big" picture is to try to have the event happen at the same time everyday whether it be eating a meal or brushing their teeth. The "small" way to build rhythm is by zeroing in on the little details and keeping them consistent. For example, having the soap and washcloth in the same place each day. In establishing rhythm and predictability you can actually notice some of the rough transitions during your day dissipate. Or you may see them coming because you have established a clear rhythm and you can now prepare for them. Payne says that 'recognition is the first step toward building rhythm and a (different) predictability into the day.'

• Scheduling

Children need time to process and digest what happens around them and free play is essential for this.  Children digest all the worlds outside busyness through their uninterrupted, imaginative play. Rather than stuff our children's lives with back to back activities we must embrace the gift of boredom because boredom is the precursor to creativity.

Payne believes if you provide your child with lots of time for free play and down time, many of your disciplinary issues will decrease.

• Filtering out adult conversation

The proper degree of separation between the adult world and the child's is crucial to the child's well being. If children are constantly hearing news about the world events they will almost certainly feel unsafe. When we discuss adult information in front of our children we raise them to our level. Children are not developmentally able to process this adult information whether it be current events or our own struggles in the adult world. Their lack of processing strategies, sadly erodes their sense of safety and this can lead to a nervous, anxious and stressed child. Payne writes about 'the chrysalis' - the protective sheath in which childhood unfolds. We are the guardians of this sheath and we must do all we can to protect it. Payne goes on to write "before we say anything in front of our children, we need to ask ourselves four key questions, 'Is it kind, is it necessary, is it true and will it help my child feel safe?' Unless you can answer yes to all these questions, don't say it."